We concluded the 2008 season with a long overdue win, albeit against a fairly veteran team. A win is a win, regardless the quality of the opponent. To instill some positive vibes into the 2009 season, which started on Christmas Day of 08, we kicked it off on an unbeaten note! OK, we did not win but we were far from losing it.
Another positive takeaway from the season's opener was Teck Wah starting the new season in similar fashion to how he ended 2008's – scoring goals.
Thirdly, we have unearthed a full-back in the mould of Chwee Leng! That can only be good for us, given that Chung Wen is plagued by his persistent back injury, Ng is restricted by his groin problem (how on earth did he sustain the groin injury?), and Leo's flourishing corporate career has earned him a feature article in a national newspaper (Berita Harian to be precise!). All those mean lesser time on the pitch for us. We have been and will be deprived of our dependable full backs' services! So far, encouragingly, Chwee Leng has been deputizing admirably for us, including another sterling performance in our opening match on Christmas Day. That also speaks depth of our squad and perhaps, versatility of our players.
From the opening match, we also managed to confirm the correlation between scoring prowess on the pitch and the other raunchy scoring prowess. In fact, both are directly related to each other. It's not an inverse relationship as what our old folks told us, and what I earlier chastised in my previous match reports. Firstly, Teck Wah, refuting the claims of his loss in scoring form, hit half a dozen in last 2 matches! Obviously, his new "training ground" has enabled him to launch more live firing, especially after he boldly boasted that he is past the BMT stage. If this can keep him firing on all cylinders for us, we have no complains if he has multiple "training fields" just like our SAF has in Australia, Brunei, India, Taiwan…. On the other hand, the mystery was lifted why Gan has not been scoring. You see, I wrote that he is lethal in the bedroom as he gearing up for his debut fatherhood but we didn't realize how lethal he is until he told us in the post-match Carlsberg-and-kopi session. He is expecting a pair of twins! Now, isn't that lethal? But that's not just it. What really has been causing his poor scoring form is that he confided in us that when his Mrs' pregnancy was 6-weeks old, he was ordered by the doc not to engage in My-Hump-My-Hump with his dearie. Now the theory is proven on both sides – active in humping, you score goals; no humping, cannot score J
Mr Humping made up for Mr No-Humping last night as he notched a brace in the 2-2 draw with Kampung Kawan United. A match arranged on Christmas Day in Singapore, what opponent can you expect? Certainly the kawan kawan and abang-ade gang lah! Even the match before us pitted 2 Malay teams against each other. Frankly, we hardly encounter an All-Malay team that is so organized. Firstly, most of them arrived together in a lorry. Secondly, the team kit was laid out neatly awaiting the arrivals of the stars. And we knew we would be in for a hard time, and we weren't surprised.
True enough, they were fluid in movements, faster than us by a handful of notches and slick in passing the ball and covering the ground, something that we are all well aware of against such opponent.
A poor giveaway by See Chiang almost gifted them a goal within 5 minutes from the kick-off. KK Utd's forward, after weaving his way through to face Brandon in goal, shot at the side netting instead. That was a mighty close call for us.
The Wah-and-Hwa partnership almost paid off as the former flicked the ball onto the path of the latter. KH brought the ball into the box but he couldn't do what Robbie Keane did to Arsenal. KH didn't connect well with the bouncing ball and the resultant shot was a tame effort that posed no threat to KK Utd's custodian. KH attributed his lack of clinical conversion to his "old training ground" that breeds familiarity and no challenging terrain for tactical maneuvers. Now idolizing Wah The Humping, KH will be searching for virgin forest soon.
Our game plan was to keep it tight and wear them down as we expected such opponent to tire in the later part of the match but KK Utd's fluidity stretched us and we had our ourselves to blame for conceding the 1st goal too soon. A needless back heel pass by Teck Wah proved disastrous and KK Utd's sweeper picked up the loose ball and launched a series of passes and dribbling that put our defence in sixes and sevens. Just as when we expected their forward to tee up a shot, he instead laid the ball wide to his kaki on the right, who then floated in a nicely-weighted ball for the former to head past Brandon. 0 - 1.
Whilst we were no match for their technical skills, we made it up with our pure grit. A quickly-taken free-kick by Yong Chua found Teck Chye beating the offside line on the left. Teck Chye controlled the ball superbly and quickly squared it to his younger sibling in the box. Teck Wah showed Kian Hwa how to connect not only with boobs but also a bouncing ball in the box. His left-footed half volley was sweeter than putting your tongue near the source of the flowing nectar! KK Utd's custodian had no answer to Teck Wah's voluptuous, sorry I meant venomous strike. Now, we were tied at 1 - 1.
Though KK Utd was superior in possession, it was Marine Sunday that proved to be more dangerous in the attacks throughout the match.
With nothing much to offer to the team, Kian Hwa can only rely on his enterprising movements to secure his squad number and another one of his trademark gritty run down the wide to the bye-line followed by a square pass into the box almost gained him folklore status. But the pass was a tad too strong for Yong Chua to control and his subsequent flick over his body almost reached Teck Wah lurking at the far post but KK Utd's keeper intercepted the high ball with ease.
We made 3 substitutions (Gan, Benny and Kok Hock for Kian Hwa, Chwee Leng and Yong Chua respectively) and a few positional changes at one go, and these would prove to be bitter-sweet for us. The sweet part surfaced first. One of the 3 substitutes, Kok Hock, slotted into the holding midfielder role and discharged his duty like a maestro. A killer pass from him to Teck Chye led to our eventual 2nd goal. Teck Chye then laid the ball into the box between the keeper and Gan, who got ahead of the keeper by a split second but the keeper still managed to get a hand at the ball resulting in a pin-ball situation. Teck Wah then popped up to ram the loose ball into the open goal to put us in the lead. 2 – 1.
The bitter part was to follow. With Weng Kwan switching to right fullback, Hock Leong took over as last man, partnering Benny. The pairing didn't pay off as the unfamiliarity between the two failed to clear a ball cleanly. When Benny regained his balance to clear the ball 2nd time, it was a second too late as by then, KK Utd's forward had descended on him and Benny's clearance cannoned off the latter's shin and in between Brandon's legs into goal. Parity was restored for them, 2 – 2.
Kok Hock then dropped back to as last man, with Hock Leong reverting to his favoured stopper role, and Benny taking over the defensive midfielder role. That provided more balance to the team as we went on to carve out a couple of scoring opportunities. First, Teck Chye's well placed shot was pushed out for a corner by the keeper. The keeper then flapped at the resulting corner, allowing Simon to connect with a firm header but the goal bound effort was booted away by the defender before any damage was done.
We ended the 1st half riding on the tail wind but the score stood at 2 – 2.
2nd half was the exact replica of the earlier half, with KK Utd showcasing the fluid movements and slick passes and Marine Sunday chasing and closing down space but more threatening in attacks. We were more compact in the 2nd half, with Kok Hock marshalling the defence to the perfect T and Brandon more commanding in the box.
KK Utd only had 1 opportunity to increase their lead. That was when their forward beat the offside line to face Brandon, who advanced timely to close down the angle. KK Utd's forward rounded Brandon but the extra second of effort allowed Chwee Leng to recover in time to clear the ball away for a corner.
On the contrary, we should have converted any one of our handful of chances. A well-worked free kick saw Teck Wah beating the offside trap and receiving the ball at the far post. Seeing Gan at the other end of the goal, he cleverly headed the ball across the 6-yards box but Gan's header sailed over the bar when he had only the keeper to beat.
Gan then had a goal contentiously ruled offside. He received a fine cross from Weng Kwan from the right, turned well to fire from a tight angle but the rare goal was cruelly denied by the referee, when Gan appeared to be in a perfectly legitimate position.
Teck Chye had a firm volley that the keeper couldn't hold on to but nobody followed up to the 2nd ball, much to the fury of Teck Chye.
Kian Hwa then produced a flashing cross from the left that missed Teck Chye's head by a whisker.
KK Utd's keeper was found wanting in crosses as he flapped at another corner, leaving Gan free to head the ball but instead of directing the ball towards the open goal, it went past the post. As we later realized that Gan was so power-packed in his semen to produce a pair of twins, his shooting (in whichever sense) is a shot-gun mode rather than a sniper fire. That perhaps explains his accuracy on the pitch.
The half saw no further goals and the match ended 2 apiece.
Man of The Match: Teck Wah
The 1st MoM of the new season went off on an encouraging start with all 13, excluding the 2 guest players, players responding timely with their nominations. The eventual MoM was not a surprising choice but from the number of players nominated, it reflected a balanced contribution from the team.
Here are the nominations:
1. Teck Wah (5 votes) - "Teck Wah for 2 goals" - "MoM goes to Teck Wah. Lethal finish with 2 goals" - "MoM to Teck Wah for taking his chances well and always getting into goal scoring positions. He is versatile too, moving to the wings to support play as well. Hope he continues to play this way"
- "My choice of MoM wud b Teck [Hua]. 2 goals & quite a lot of assists" - "MoM Teck Wah for his clinical finish"
2. Kok Hock (3 votes) - "[Yock] Hock. Made [the] goal and later defended stoutly to keep us in the game" - "Kok Hock – for gamely volunteering to take over sweeper position but more importantly marshalling the defence and keeping the opponent forwards at bay. Simply masterful and certainly regaining his old self!"
3. Teck Chye (2 votes) - "I will vote Chye for fighting hard not just for attacking but also assisting the defence frequently. Can't find any midfielder who will do just that"
- "Made 2 great passes that led to the goals"
Weng Kwan, Brandon and Chwee Leng garnering 1 vote each, making in total 13 votes
- "CL, played well at left back, clear a few danger situation, could easily take over ng n make left back his permanent position"
- "Brandon. For a commanding performance which will give much assurance for the defence in future"
- "Kwan steady n water tight tdy"
You deserve the plaudits! Keep up the performance! For those not nominated, don't be disheartened, we play as a team.
As you can see, some of you still get the names of your fellow team mates wrong. I deliberately listed them in the manner you spelt them. Hope you are more mindful of their name spellings.
Another positive takeaway from the season's opener was Teck Wah starting the new season in similar fashion to how he ended 2008's – scoring goals.
Thirdly, we have unearthed a full-back in the mould of Chwee Leng! That can only be good for us, given that Chung Wen is plagued by his persistent back injury, Ng is restricted by his groin problem (how on earth did he sustain the groin injury?), and Leo's flourishing corporate career has earned him a feature article in a national newspaper (Berita Harian to be precise!). All those mean lesser time on the pitch for us. We have been and will be deprived of our dependable full backs' services! So far, encouragingly, Chwee Leng has been deputizing admirably for us, including another sterling performance in our opening match on Christmas Day. That also speaks depth of our squad and perhaps, versatility of our players.
From the opening match, we also managed to confirm the correlation between scoring prowess on the pitch and the other raunchy scoring prowess. In fact, both are directly related to each other. It's not an inverse relationship as what our old folks told us, and what I earlier chastised in my previous match reports. Firstly, Teck Wah, refuting the claims of his loss in scoring form, hit half a dozen in last 2 matches! Obviously, his new "training ground" has enabled him to launch more live firing, especially after he boldly boasted that he is past the BMT stage. If this can keep him firing on all cylinders for us, we have no complains if he has multiple "training fields" just like our SAF has in Australia, Brunei, India, Taiwan…. On the other hand, the mystery was lifted why Gan has not been scoring. You see, I wrote that he is lethal in the bedroom as he gearing up for his debut fatherhood but we didn't realize how lethal he is until he told us in the post-match Carlsberg-and-kopi session. He is expecting a pair of twins! Now, isn't that lethal? But that's not just it. What really has been causing his poor scoring form is that he confided in us that when his Mrs' pregnancy was 6-weeks old, he was ordered by the doc not to engage in My-Hump-My-Hump with his dearie. Now the theory is proven on both sides – active in humping, you score goals; no humping, cannot score J
Mr Humping made up for Mr No-Humping last night as he notched a brace in the 2-2 draw with Kampung Kawan United. A match arranged on Christmas Day in Singapore, what opponent can you expect? Certainly the kawan kawan and abang-ade gang lah! Even the match before us pitted 2 Malay teams against each other. Frankly, we hardly encounter an All-Malay team that is so organized. Firstly, most of them arrived together in a lorry. Secondly, the team kit was laid out neatly awaiting the arrivals of the stars. And we knew we would be in for a hard time, and we weren't surprised.
True enough, they were fluid in movements, faster than us by a handful of notches and slick in passing the ball and covering the ground, something that we are all well aware of against such opponent.
A poor giveaway by See Chiang almost gifted them a goal within 5 minutes from the kick-off. KK Utd's forward, after weaving his way through to face Brandon in goal, shot at the side netting instead. That was a mighty close call for us.
The Wah-and-Hwa partnership almost paid off as the former flicked the ball onto the path of the latter. KH brought the ball into the box but he couldn't do what Robbie Keane did to Arsenal. KH didn't connect well with the bouncing ball and the resultant shot was a tame effort that posed no threat to KK Utd's custodian. KH attributed his lack of clinical conversion to his "old training ground" that breeds familiarity and no challenging terrain for tactical maneuvers. Now idolizing Wah The Humping, KH will be searching for virgin forest soon.
Our game plan was to keep it tight and wear them down as we expected such opponent to tire in the later part of the match but KK Utd's fluidity stretched us and we had our ourselves to blame for conceding the 1st goal too soon. A needless back heel pass by Teck Wah proved disastrous and KK Utd's sweeper picked up the loose ball and launched a series of passes and dribbling that put our defence in sixes and sevens. Just as when we expected their forward to tee up a shot, he instead laid the ball wide to his kaki on the right, who then floated in a nicely-weighted ball for the former to head past Brandon. 0 - 1.
Whilst we were no match for their technical skills, we made it up with our pure grit. A quickly-taken free-kick by Yong Chua found Teck Chye beating the offside line on the left. Teck Chye controlled the ball superbly and quickly squared it to his younger sibling in the box. Teck Wah showed Kian Hwa how to connect not only with boobs but also a bouncing ball in the box. His left-footed half volley was sweeter than putting your tongue near the source of the flowing nectar! KK Utd's custodian had no answer to Teck Wah's voluptuous, sorry I meant venomous strike. Now, we were tied at 1 - 1.
Though KK Utd was superior in possession, it was Marine Sunday that proved to be more dangerous in the attacks throughout the match.
With nothing much to offer to the team, Kian Hwa can only rely on his enterprising movements to secure his squad number and another one of his trademark gritty run down the wide to the bye-line followed by a square pass into the box almost gained him folklore status. But the pass was a tad too strong for Yong Chua to control and his subsequent flick over his body almost reached Teck Wah lurking at the far post but KK Utd's keeper intercepted the high ball with ease.
We made 3 substitutions (Gan, Benny and Kok Hock for Kian Hwa, Chwee Leng and Yong Chua respectively) and a few positional changes at one go, and these would prove to be bitter-sweet for us. The sweet part surfaced first. One of the 3 substitutes, Kok Hock, slotted into the holding midfielder role and discharged his duty like a maestro. A killer pass from him to Teck Chye led to our eventual 2nd goal. Teck Chye then laid the ball into the box between the keeper and Gan, who got ahead of the keeper by a split second but the keeper still managed to get a hand at the ball resulting in a pin-ball situation. Teck Wah then popped up to ram the loose ball into the open goal to put us in the lead. 2 – 1.
The bitter part was to follow. With Weng Kwan switching to right fullback, Hock Leong took over as last man, partnering Benny. The pairing didn't pay off as the unfamiliarity between the two failed to clear a ball cleanly. When Benny regained his balance to clear the ball 2nd time, it was a second too late as by then, KK Utd's forward had descended on him and Benny's clearance cannoned off the latter's shin and in between Brandon's legs into goal. Parity was restored for them, 2 – 2.
Kok Hock then dropped back to as last man, with Hock Leong reverting to his favoured stopper role, and Benny taking over the defensive midfielder role. That provided more balance to the team as we went on to carve out a couple of scoring opportunities. First, Teck Chye's well placed shot was pushed out for a corner by the keeper. The keeper then flapped at the resulting corner, allowing Simon to connect with a firm header but the goal bound effort was booted away by the defender before any damage was done.
We ended the 1st half riding on the tail wind but the score stood at 2 – 2.
2nd half was the exact replica of the earlier half, with KK Utd showcasing the fluid movements and slick passes and Marine Sunday chasing and closing down space but more threatening in attacks. We were more compact in the 2nd half, with Kok Hock marshalling the defence to the perfect T and Brandon more commanding in the box.
KK Utd only had 1 opportunity to increase their lead. That was when their forward beat the offside line to face Brandon, who advanced timely to close down the angle. KK Utd's forward rounded Brandon but the extra second of effort allowed Chwee Leng to recover in time to clear the ball away for a corner.
On the contrary, we should have converted any one of our handful of chances. A well-worked free kick saw Teck Wah beating the offside trap and receiving the ball at the far post. Seeing Gan at the other end of the goal, he cleverly headed the ball across the 6-yards box but Gan's header sailed over the bar when he had only the keeper to beat.
Gan then had a goal contentiously ruled offside. He received a fine cross from Weng Kwan from the right, turned well to fire from a tight angle but the rare goal was cruelly denied by the referee, when Gan appeared to be in a perfectly legitimate position.
Teck Chye had a firm volley that the keeper couldn't hold on to but nobody followed up to the 2nd ball, much to the fury of Teck Chye.
Kian Hwa then produced a flashing cross from the left that missed Teck Chye's head by a whisker.
KK Utd's keeper was found wanting in crosses as he flapped at another corner, leaving Gan free to head the ball but instead of directing the ball towards the open goal, it went past the post. As we later realized that Gan was so power-packed in his semen to produce a pair of twins, his shooting (in whichever sense) is a shot-gun mode rather than a sniper fire. That perhaps explains his accuracy on the pitch.
The half saw no further goals and the match ended 2 apiece.
Man of The Match: Teck Wah
The 1st MoM of the new season went off on an encouraging start with all 13, excluding the 2 guest players, players responding timely with their nominations. The eventual MoM was not a surprising choice but from the number of players nominated, it reflected a balanced contribution from the team.
Here are the nominations:
1. Teck Wah (5 votes) - "Teck Wah for 2 goals" - "MoM goes to Teck Wah. Lethal finish with 2 goals" - "MoM to Teck Wah for taking his chances well and always getting into goal scoring positions. He is versatile too, moving to the wings to support play as well. Hope he continues to play this way"
- "My choice of MoM wud b Teck [Hua]. 2 goals & quite a lot of assists" - "MoM Teck Wah for his clinical finish"
2. Kok Hock (3 votes) - "[Yock] Hock. Made [the] goal and later defended stoutly to keep us in the game" - "Kok Hock – for gamely volunteering to take over sweeper position but more importantly marshalling the defence and keeping the opponent forwards at bay. Simply masterful and certainly regaining his old self!"
3. Teck Chye (2 votes) - "I will vote Chye for fighting hard not just for attacking but also assisting the defence frequently. Can't find any midfielder who will do just that"
- "Made 2 great passes that led to the goals"
Weng Kwan, Brandon and Chwee Leng garnering 1 vote each, making in total 13 votes
- "CL, played well at left back, clear a few danger situation, could easily take over ng n make left back his permanent position"
- "Brandon. For a commanding performance which will give much assurance for the defence in future"
- "Kwan steady n water tight tdy"
You deserve the plaudits! Keep up the performance! For those not nominated, don't be disheartened, we play as a team.
As you can see, some of you still get the names of your fellow team mates wrong. I deliberately listed them in the manner you spelt them. Hope you are more mindful of their name spellings.
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